I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
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