Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
Good morning! So would you prefer me to show up kind of late or on time but looking like I got chewed up and spat out by an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer?
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
Randomize
