i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
Randomize
