sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
It's only 10am and I doubt my day could get much worse. During my 9am meeting I had to sit between my boss who I fucked for my promotion and the guy he walked in on me fucking on the copier
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
I just got a handjob in the back of an Uber while a large German dude and a Midwestern fuck-boi sang along in falsetto to the Bohemian Rhapsody.
Randomize
