then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
My liver just had a heart attack.
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
Randomize
