Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
Randomize
