You dirty dirty liar I like the way you twitter
I am going to give you the keys to my place
Then I'll give you the keys to my heart
Gag me
did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
My entire life is one complicated drinking game
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
my credit card is covered in vodka and bad memories
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
some girl just asked me if I was that guy that hooked up with nine girls in one night. officially a local celebrity. gonna try and autograph her boobs.
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
Randomize
