I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
Can I sleep on your couch? My wife just found my eHarmony account.
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
Randomize
