Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
Fucked her within an inch of her life. Seriously. Don't choke bitches when they ask. Was way too drunk to be pulling that shit.
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
FUCK WHALES
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
Randomize
