Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
dude i'm inner monologue high
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
He called his prostate his "boner button".
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
I just used the proceeds from selling my ex's engagement ring to fund my first date with another girl.
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
