hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
I can no longer count the number of girls I've banged on my fingers and toes. It's like being born again.
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Randomize
