i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
In preparation for st patty's day I finally had a shamrock shake, and I invested in an app that will apparently keep me from drunkenly texting you pictures of my tits this weekend. Please let me know if you want to not be put on the "forbidden" list!
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
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