just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
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