tonights recap: old cokehead freind proposed in the middle of a country bar to his trash girlfriend, saw ex-fuck who now has star shaved into his head and another with his gf, and ex-bfs best friends crackin jokes about who would fuck me first. NEVER COMING HOME AGAIN
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
I was trying to chase her off the carpet, but now there are figure-eights of cat vomit. everywhere
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
Blow job season was short but glorious.
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
Randomize
