i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
I left a bag of circus animal cookies in my car all day. they melted together into on giant cookie. this could either be the best or worst thing ever
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
Randomize
