Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
I just sneeze out a chunk of leftover pickle I threw up last night. dont you try and tell me your day is going worse
Listen, I booty called my boss last night from the company phone. I may need to brush up my resume.
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
Randomize
