so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again.
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
Randomize
