you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
He paid me $20 to swallow a baggie of glitter, which turned out to be the best decision I've ever made. My vomit has never been prettier.
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
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