butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
You know what, matt, a girl is not really that interested in a relationship if she goes down on you the first time she meets you
can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
You slapped the bar and yelled "daddys thirsty!" at the lady behind the bar
To be fair I was thirsty
When she told you not to yell you looked directly at me and screamed "Man, she sucks!"
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
I'm sorry, I'm tired, I can't play long distance cockblock anymore. Good night don't get too pregnant.
Randomize
