Ok let me ask a question, does aderall make women less apt to have sex?
Cause it just destroys penises
Was that inappropriate? I can't gauge these things anymore
The guy in front of me in line at Starbucks looks kinda like Danica Patrick except he has a huge boner.
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
Seriously, you can't give someone's wife an orgasm on the dance floor of a gay nightclub and then hang out with her husband the following week
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
Randomize
