So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
I want you more than these girls want KFC
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
the dj asked me quote "are you sure you're sober enough to do this?" And I grabbed the mic from him and said "ill fucking show you sober- HIT IT". I also dropped the mic at the end so he had to come around and pick it up
Shania Twain would have been proud
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
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