You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
composition of my stomach right now: 60% C8H10N4O2 * H2O (coffee), 20% CaCO3 (pepto bismol/tums), 10% HCl (stomach acid), 5% fried rice, 5% residual adderall. i can do that by percent mass too. fuck you finals.
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
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