That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
My vagina is officially offended.
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
Randomize
