I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
He brought me bullshit flowers and a bullshit apology. Even shrek did more than that for Fiona. And he's an ogre. Does this not say anything about him?
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
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