that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
I wanted to take a shower but I forgot we made applesauce in it last night.
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
Randomize
