all he gave me for my birthday was sperm
at least its a homemade gift
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
Who breaks their ankle the day before a beach wedding? This guy. Maybe this is karma for fucking someone's wife? Idk.
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
Randomize
