pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
How am I still drunk? Whoever said breakfast is the most important meal obviously didn't skip dinner and go drinking.
please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
Come see our sink grown plant.
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
Dude you literally tried to cook your phone in the microwave. You were so wasted you asked your mom to help you turn it on.
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
Randomize
