we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
You know how the doctor said I need to stop being vegan unless I find a way to get more protein? There's protein in beer. The doctor wants me to drink more beer.
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
Last time i carry you out of a forest
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
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