oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
Just got arrested in my crocs and rolled up pants with a mr rogers sweater for literally fucking nothing can u come get me?
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
Randomize
