I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
I really hope you didn't eat the bowl of melted vanilla ice cream I left on the coffee table. Because it is not melted vanilla ice cream.
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
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