I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
I don't deserve a penis
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
Randomize
