I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
Did I send you an asleep facebook message about the upcoming football season titled 'BRILLIANT' at 4:45 this morning?
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
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