you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
Btw, remind me to tell you about how I had to cancel my crazy wild sex plans with Will b/c my roommate came back from his trip after a day b/c Canada wouldn't let him in. Fucking cockblock.
Actually that's the whole story. You don't have to remind me.
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
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