Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
He ended our Skype call with, "I'm going to poop and then go play my ukulele in the park."
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
i need to stop meeting underage girls and letting them into the bar. i mean yea its a surefire way to get laid without having to tell them I'm 26 but i feel like as a bouncer I'm focusing on all the wrong things
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
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