end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
I just sucked dick on a ferry
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
Randomize
