This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
My cat puked at the same time as me. Makes me feel better about myself, except he can stand and I can't.
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
Dad, is it in any way illegal for me to run around throwing handfuls of lucky charms at people tomorrow?
you're kidding right?
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
I'm going to CVS to meet the Craigslist guy who is going to buy my underwear. If I don't text you within the next hour, plz assume that I have been abducted by a stranger with an underwear fetish.
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
Randomize
