Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
Responsibility: Hiding your beer when your DWI clients who are out on bond come to talk to you at bars.
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
How was your weekend?
My girlfriend decided the best way to get my mind off of my dog dying was to break up with me via text
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