I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
That is the best grammar in a dirty text ever. Excellent use of the semi-colon. And yes; I am hard.
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
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