at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
so i stopped by cvs on the way home this morning, turns out hallmark doesnt make an im sorry my friend puked on your friend card, call me if were still speaking
I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
You're not invited to the wedding. They don't want you starting a "who's fucked the bride the most" contest.
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
My friend Julia's mom just called her to say she got a puzzle in the mail made of cheese and when she put it together it spelled FUCK YOU and she doesn't know who it's from.
Randomize
