Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
things that need to be invented #43: vodka that also acts as birth control.
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
Randomize
