please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
I woke up with dick mouth, a raw vagina, an empty bottle of vodka and the best man next to me. I also found my thong by the pool. Best.Wedding.Ever.
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
Just drug him and when he wakes up say "You just woke up from a coma, we've been married for 5 years." It'll be like The Vow but fucked up.
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
We are all done wearing pants today
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
Randomize
