the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
Randomize
