He finally admitted that he was drunk when I asked him how he got the rug burn on his chin and he replied "the worm contest"
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
Randomize
