I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
the most terrified I've ever been was seeing Danny Devito squirming on the ground in this underwear, covered in hand sanitizer, completely hairless
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
Randomize
