You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
I woke up with a crunchy, pink Pepto streak through my hair, no recollection of the last 6 hours of my night and the feeling that all the hotel's staff knew me on a first name basis.
So my ex just cheated on her current bf w/me and now there's a car coming to take me to Vegas... Is this really my Thursday night?
I hate you.
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
Honestly I was sitting in managerial accounting thinking "I really need to get my shit together and stop drinking so much wine." But when you asked I realized... it's wine. It's always a yes.
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
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