That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
I just opened my filing cabinet at work for the first time in months. It looks just like my pantry: nothing but peanut butter and whiskey.
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
Randomize
