I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize
