We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
this will be a night to untag.
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
Santa brought me a 1.75 of wine, and a liter of patron. I probably won't remember Christmas, so don't ask me how it was tomorrow.
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
Randomize
