Just saw my boss eat a banana in three bites.
Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
you spent the rest of the night making a recipe for mixed drink called "the new years bowel remover". it has 13 parts but judging from the bold all caps, the boiled avocado is the most important
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
You made me take you back to Mcdonalds so you could yell at the guy for not giving you enough ketchup packets
I vaguely recall french fries...
You then proceeded to call your mom and tell her you weren't coming home because you were "tripping balls"
Sweet...
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