I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
i had a dream the other night i was titty fucking you while you were asleep, then you woke up and didn't care.
My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
You spent an hour sitting naked in your neighbor's Jeep Wrangler yelling in a terrible British accent about how you were "on a safari". Then you passed out on your lawn.
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
Randomize
