You kept calling me your small dog last night.
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
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