i grabbed his hand and told him i loved him and then he looked down and said "i love...mallomars" and shoved like three in his mouth. never been so embarrassed.
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
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