i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!
I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
Randomize
