tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
No memories of receiving this. Or of getting home. Or of apparently developing a taste for marmalade, which I assume is yours because I have literally never eaten it before. It's all over the kitchen. And my phone. And in my hair. Oh god I wish I wasn't on the train to work. X And sorry about the kitchen x
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
So far today I've found 3.5 million dollars in savings. Pretty sure management is gonna start buying me hookers if getting laid has this much payoff
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
Randomize